Canto VII – Rama Bereft
Back in the forest Rama was filled with misgivings. Their love for each ~ other was so great that even though they were parted, they were still in communication with each other and he could sense Sita’s fears. He walked as fast as he could. He knew that Maricha would never deliberately have risked his life, had not something stupendous beer at stake. He saw ill omens all along the way. A jackal was howling and his left eye was throbbing which were considered to be a bad omen for men.
As he came to Janasthana, he saw Lakshmana walking towards hiir with a troubled look. Rama went towards him and held out his hanc and asked him worriedly, “My dear child why did you leave Sita alone and come here. Did I not tell you to stay with her? You were right That deer was indeed Maricha, sent as a decoy to lure me away in order to fulfill some evil design. And now you have also followed me, ever though I told you to stay with her. I am beginning to fear that we may never see her alive. The moment I heard Maricha calling out in my voice, I knew that some mischief was afoot”.
Lakshmana could not speak a word. He allowed Rama to go on.
Rama continued, “I was a beggar without a kingdom, yet she preferred to come with me, rather than stay in the comfort of the palace.
She could not live without me and neither can I live without her. Will my Sita be alive? If she dies, so will 1. Has my exile been fruitless, finally? Kaikeyi will be happy if she hears of our death but my poor mother will die of a broken heart”.
Thus lamenting, they reached the vicinity of the ashrama, Rama was already tired, hungry and thirsty when they arrived, for he had been chasing the deer for a long time. As soon as they reached, he went inside the hut? calling Sita to come out, but there was no answer. Only the wind rustled through the leaves. He ran out and rushed to all her favourite haunts, calling out “Janaki! 0 Janaki! Where are you my beloved? Why are you hiding from me? Can*t you see that I am tired and hungry? Have not you prepared a meal for me? Why do you play with me like this. I am in no mood for games. Come to me, my darling. I cannot bear this any longer”.
At last his limbs refused to carry him and he sank to the ground and murmured, “What I dreaded has happened. She has either been abducted or been eaten alive”. Lakshmana stood by his side and said not a word. Tears were flowing down his cheeks.
Turning to him Rama asked, “I left her only because I had entrusted her to you. Why did you leave her and come”?
His voice choked with sobs, Lakshmana said, “When she heard Maricha’s dying voice, emulating yours, she went into a panic and begged me to go to your aid. When I refused, she spoke so harshly to me that I could not bear it. She accused me of being your enemy and lusting after her. Even then, I refused to move, though my heart was bursting. Then she threatened to kill herself) jump into the river or hang herself. I could bear it no longer and I ran out of the ashrama leaving her alone. But before I left, I drew a magic circle around her and told her to stay within it. Had she done so she would have been safe”.
Rama heard Lakshmana and said, “You did wrong, my child, to have left her alone. She was out of her wits with anxiety over me and that is why she must have spoken as she did, but you, who know me so well, must have realised that no harm could have befallen me and yet you left her. Why did you do this”?
In his extreme grief, Rama kept on reiterating the same thing over and over again. The ashrama looked like a lotus pond in winter, desolate and forlorn. The trees appeared to be weeping and the flowers had faded and the deer stood listlessly, uninterested even in eating grass. The birds sat on twigs and gazed with dull eyes at Rama. Their voices appeared to have been lost.
Rama said in despair, “0 my love! Where have all the flowers gone, since you went away, and where have all the song birds gone who used to sing to us so sweetly every day”.
He was inconsolable in his grief. He ran from tree to tree and asked them if they had seen her. “Didn’t my darling Sita bid you farewell when she went away. Will you not tell me where she went”? A deer came close to him and nuzzled him with her nose. He looked at her and his eyes filled with tears and he said, “My darling had eyes just like yours, so soft and kind they were. Are you trying to comfort me? Will you not tell me where she has’ gone”?
He ran all over the place again and again crying out, “0 Lakshmana, I cannot live without Sita. I cannot return to Ayodhya without her. What is a kingdom to me without her to share it. Go back brother, and tell them that Rama is dead. She put her entire trust in me and I failed to protect her. She was my dear wife and I could not save her What is the use of livings? Thus lamenting, his whole body on fin and his mind consumed with grief, Rama could not sit or stand.
Lakshmana had never seen him like this and he spoke gently to him “0 my dear brother! Please do not give way to grief like this. The forest is large and there are many places where she could have been bidder by someone. Perhaps in some cave or other. Let us go and search for her in a methodical manner. She used to love to wander along the rive] banks and sit under the trees. Let us go and see if she’s there. Rise yourself from this despondency and let’s go”.
Thus saying, he tried to rouse his brother from the lethargy into which he appeared to have fallen due to his deep sorrow. Rama tried to control himself and with a superhuman effort he accompanied Lakshmana and they began their search in a methodical manner Lakshmana comforted him by saying that she could not have gone far since he had just left the ashrama. Of course, he was not to know that she had been abducted in an aerial vehicle. They searched all the available places but they could not find her. Rama was spent with sorrow and fatigue. His limbs felt weak and useless. He sank to the ground and did not speak for an hour. His face had lost its lustre and habitual look of serenity and peace. Lakshmana did not know what to do with him. He tried his best to revive him but it was of no use.
“0 Lakshmana! I do not think there is a greater sinner than me on this earth. That is why misfortune after misfortune has been heaped on me. But this is the greatest calamity of all. I think I am losing my mind. I lost my kingdom, I lost my father and I am wandering around like a mendicant in this forest infested with rakshasas and wild beasts, but all this was bearable because of the sweet company of my beloved wife. But now, my queen has been captured by some cruel rakshasa who might be torturing her even now. Look at this stone. We used to sit here in the afternoons and discuss so many things. I cannot bear this grief any more. It is tearing up my vitals and depriving me of all reason. How cruel the sun is! He must surely be knowing where she has been taken, yet he will not tell me. And this wind, he goes everywhere and even now he must be fanning my darling’s face and drying her tears, yet he will not tell me her hiding place”. Thus lamenting again and again, Rama would cry out, “0 Janaki! 0 Vaidehi! 0 Maithili! Will you not come back”?
Lakshmana had never seen him like this. He pleaded with him as Krishna was going to plead with Arjuna on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, begging him to shake off his grief, which was unmanly and ignoble, but it was all in vain.
“Come my dear brother. Abandon this grief and arise. Victory belongs only to the brave. Only those who keep trying will achieve their goal. Arise, and let us go and search again”.
But his words fell on deaf ears. Rama was sunk in gloom and did not even hear him. Lakshmana felt doubly guilty for he had been the unwitting cause of her abduction.
Again and again Rama lamented, “When I lost my kingdom, Sita was there to comfort me but now who is there to give me solace. 0 Lakshmana! How can I endure this wretched life without her”? Turning to the deer he asked, “She was your friend. She loved you so. Will you not tell me where she has gone”?
Then Lakshmana noticed that the deer appeared to be putting on some sort of pantomime by running towards the south and running back again.
